Graveyard of buried hopes..
Wednesday, October 18th, 2006
It’s strange that I haven’t been writing for the past couple of days. Normally, I’d just blurt everything I feel and see where it goes from there. Now, I am trying to write something out of nothing..
Or, something out of something deeper…
These questions I ask myself: Have I been empty these past few days? Has my heart been in the lost-and-found that I do not know how or what I feel? Am I empty inside? Do I yearn for something to happen to me? Have I been waiting too long? Is there still hope?
We hope, and we dream…but we never really believe that something is going to happen to us, not like it does in the movies, and when it actually does, we expect it to feel different, more genuine, authentic; more real.
Whoever you are who’s reading this right now, I would like to impart this to you. Things should always go forward, instead of backwards. Nothing stays the 
same forever. If you fall..go ahead and cry, feel the pain..and then pull yourself together. The world will never stop for your grief, so you might as well wake up and start over again. It’s either going to get better or worse. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. If you insist that things stay the same, then you will be your own nemesis. Nothing is worse than fighting with yourself, struggling to find answers that you already know, yet the other side of you denies it and creates a fantasy to cover up the reality.
We all want to have a good life. Something simple yet fulfilling. A life with no demands, no expectations, no threats. WELL, NEWS FLASH!!! A life like that only happens one year after birth… Everything after that is a whole new world, a whole new beginning. Things change. Things happen. Things happen for a reason. If you think that the things that are happening to you are shitty, well think about this: life would be much less interesting without problems, tribulations, demands, and expectations. So cheer up!
My life is a graveyard of buried hopes.
It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because inspite of everything, I still people that people are really good at heart. I simply cannot build my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death.
